240819

I don’t know if people knew if this girl ever feeling hurt or not
I don’t know if people aware of how fake I was all this time trying to be all happy with everything
I don’t know if I do it right, either for own my good or maybe,
just to please everyone feeling with their expectation about me?

I don’t know if I deserve to be happy,
if I decided to be my self, do as I want and go to such place without thinking about anything,

will I be happier if I just ignore people opinion about me?
will they be happier if they find out that I’m not as good as what they expect about me all this time?

will they mocking behind my back because I may a lot better or even worse than what they knew about me?

will I be happy?
do I deserve to be happy?

me, here again after a long time,
trying to avoid any tears out of my eyes,

always ignore any sad feeling when I was hurting inside
but acts all stronger and fine with anything,

me,
a fool who never thought I should stop to have all those dreams
but can’t do anything since my dreams may be bigger than the moon or sun
a fool who never stop thinking how to fly to pick up those sparkling stars in the night sky,

me, a person who doesn’t know how to give up,
but also know it well how to acts like I gave up and I’m fine enough to have this fake live of mine,

“just wait” that’s what I’m saying to my own heart,
my time will be coming,
the time where I can have that dreams not only as dreams,
the time that I can speak and show all the real me,
the time when I can be happy while making everyone happy

I wish that time will not come too late, I wish ~

 

 

#030891

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